Terri Holgate

Topic: Grief and Loss

I’m listening…tell me now what I should say.

You will soon be leaving and I’ll be missing you everyday.

Tell the children of our love for each other and for them.

Tell them not to worry because I will always be close by.

Tell our grandchildren about me. Let them know how important they are.

Tell them of the great plan of happiness our Father so lovingly gave.

Tell them that we are bound together by eternal promises.

Tell them all of devoted love and they will know one day for themselves what this moment in time really means.

All My Love

My mother, Winnie, and my father, George. Sept 4, 1952.

Mom and Dad always told me, “Make the best of what you have. Don’t worry about what someone else has or what someone else can do.”

In 3rd grade, Mom had Rheumatic Fever. It prevented her from going to school for four years. She never went back to school, as she was too far behind on her education. She was run over by a car when she was young that smashed her chest; this affected her in her later years of life. She never learned to drive. She met Dad in an elevator at the hospital where she worked. It was love at first sight. My Dad was wrongfully convicted of attempted murder and spent four years in San Quentin State Prison. He was framed, and the con artist served less time. When I was young, I rummaged through my Dad’s belongings, only to find paperwork from San Quentin. He snatched it out of my hands so quickly—I never brought it up again. It was not until years later after my kids were nearly full-grown and after my parents had passed that I was finally given the truth that I had been longing to know. I was told stories by the con artist’s son, who went on to write a book about the abuse he personally endured by his father. I learned a lot about my Dad that day. We even met and shared our own stories. My Dad was not a felon, but the fact that he was framed and sentenced affected my childhood in many ways. It felt good to hear the truth.

My Mom and Dad never met two of my children, which is something I will always look back on and wish it could have been different.

Mom passed away from lymphoma in 1993 and Dad passed away in 1997. He had Parkinson’s Disease.